Song of Songs 7

I remember mama telling me before that on her bad days, she’d just open her Bible at a random page and start reading whatever the Holy Spirit led her to read and she said that it was like God was speaking to her, and was showing her the way out of whatever it was that was bothering her. I did that technique last night and my gosh, it worked!

Last night, I felt really horrible. I felt so exhausted from life that I just wanted to shut down completely. I wanted to give up. I kind of actually heard myself say NO to life and I think that’s the worst thing a person could ever feel. Wishing death upon myself was really bad and I know that something must be done. I needed to stop crying because crying only makes me feel more emotional and it clouds my mind. I needed to think clear and I just couldn’t because I feel like I’m being suffocated by all things that are bad! I need to breathe, I need air, I need to breathe, I need to live! I don’t know what to do… I don’t know what to do…

I was texting with Jorge during my ugly breakdown in my bed and this is what he told me: "You know, in times like these when we both don’t know what to do, there’s really only one thing we can do; that’s to talk to God. Our God is a God of peace. He will comfort you when no one else in the world can, not even me. God will comfort you." That’s when I opened my Bible to a random page, and heard God speak to me in my boyfriend’s voice. 

Song of Songs 7

How beautiful your sandaled feet,
    O prince’s daughter!
Your graceful legs are like jewels,
    the work of an artist’s hands.
2 Your navel is a rounded goblet
    that never lacks blended wine.
Your waist is a mound of wheat
    encircled by lilies.
3 Your breasts are like two fawns,
    like twin fawns of a gazelle.
4 Your neck is like an ivory tower.
Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon
    by the gate of Bath Rabbim.
Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon
    looking toward Damascus.
5 Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel.
    Your hair is like royal tapestry;
    the king is held captive by its tresses.
6 How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
    my love, with your delights!
7 Your stature is like that of the palm,
    and your breasts like clusters of fruit.
8 I said, “I will climb the palm tree;
    I will take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine,
    the fragrance of your breath like apples,
9     and your mouth like the best wine.

Then it hit me, I can’t give up. I can’t give up because I am loved. I am wanted and I am loved and that reason alone can keep me holding onto this life I have now. I am loved, I am desired and my life can’t just go to waste. I have so much to offer, and my life just can’t end now. And I just thought about how amazing my God is. He truly is a God of comfort and I am so freaking blessed! How did I fail to remember that?! I immediately felt better. 

Whenever you feel down, or feel lost, don’t worry. You’ll be alright. No matter how bad the situation is, there will always be a way through it. Just always remember to think about God. He’s your best friend, your father, your mother, your lover. He’s everything you can ever need and don’t ever take His love for you for granted. Just remember that His love for you is the most beautiful thing in this life so do your best to love Him too. God will always be there for you as He have been for me. Don’t give up on yourself. God loves you. You’ll be more than okay. You’ll be blessed. Actually, you already are.

You are loved.

You are blessed.