How to Cope with Long Distance Relationships
Before my husband and I finally said goodbye to our long distance relationship last year, we were in it for one year and four months. That's only when we first started dating, but since the day we first met through Instagram, that's one year and ten months! That's a freaking long time of not being together!
Through all those years and months, we've only been together physically for just 30 days! It was hard, and it is definitely hard work, but at the end of the day, I wouldn't have had it any other way. I'm glad I was in a long distance relationship. It has taught me great things about my partner about myself, and about God's faithfulness.
Long distance relationships are very common now, and I think more and more people are becoming more open to what this age of technology has to offer. Thanks to Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, Vine, and heck, even Instagram, it has been easier for people to connect with other people from all over the world! There are pros, and there are cons, but one of the most beautiful thing technology has given us is the ability to build relationships. I met Jorge through Instagram, and my life has never been the same since. I'm not saying I'm an expert at this because I know of some people who have been in a long distance relationship far longer than I have, but I would like to share some of the things I've learned on how to cope with this kind of relationship.
7 Tips on How to Cope with Long Distance Relationships
1. Communicate as much as you can
We all know that communication is a big role in any kind of relationship, and for a long distance relationship, you'll need as much communication as you can get. Thank God we now live in an age where communicating with anybody from anywhere in the world is as fast as a blink of an eye. Couples in a long distance relationship should take advantage of that fast technology. Always make sure that you make time to talk every single day. Jorge and I had our own schedules but when we had free time, we made sure to let each other know our plans so we knew exactly what we'd be doing that day/week. It's also very helpful to set a time for talking or texting, due to timezone differences. Jorge and I talked constantly but we also made sure that we respect each other's space and time, especially when we had to do some things on our own. Communication also leaves no room for doubts. With Jorge, I knew exactly where he was and what he was doing without me being too "overly possessive" and "naggy". We simply had a healthy communicating relationship. Jorge and I couldn't FaceTime or Skype daily due to our limited internet here, but we made sure we didn't lack in the communication department.
2. DO THINGS TOGETHER
Just because you're apart doesn't mean you can't do anything together! You can still go on a movie date, just make sure to hit the play button at the same time! "Okay, we start playing at 7:03PM my time and 10:03 your time!" You can still have a nice dinner together, just take a photo of your meal or Skype while you both munch on your medium rare steaks! Paint, play a game, go outside at the same time and just look at the sky! It may be night time in your country and the sun could be out in his, but hey, it's still the same sky, and you're both looking up in the heavens. I think that's a lovely thing. DO THINGS TOGETHER! Go crazy and be creative! There's so much to do, even though you two are thousands of miles apart! Do things that will make both of you feel like you're just inches away from each other.
3. Save up and Plan on trips to see each other
I know this is one of the hardest parts in any long distance relationship because plane tickets can get really expensive. Seeing each other physically is very important so make sure that you make plans to see each other, even just for a week or even a weekend. Time spent together is much sweeter for couples in long distance relationships. These trips can surely empty your pockets, but it will make your heart full.
4. DO NOT SLEEP UNTIL A FIGHT OR MISUNDERSTANDING IS RESOLVED
Fights and misunderstandings can be a little bit more challenging than for those in a long distance relationship so trying to patch things up can be two times harder. This all comes down to tip number one; communication. Just talk about it. If you're tired of typing it and it makes you even angrier, dial his number and talk, better yet, click on his Skype profile picture and talk face to face! Do not sleep until you guys fix your issues. Girls, don't expect him to send you flowers or chocolates. You're miles and miles away. Just suck it up and accept his sorry. Guys, same goes for you. Your girl won't be able to smother you with hugs and kisses and she sure can't say sorry a billion times. There's no room for pride in love. Trust me. All you can do is to understand, to forgive, and to forget.
5. CREATE LASTING MEMORIES
Jorge and I met on Instagram so it has always been photos for us. We would take pictures of each other all the time on those few times we were blessed to be together. We documented our love story through the #chasingmiamor hashtag. We would visit places that our new to both of us, we would introduce new things to each other. We would lie on the bed and watch endless Jenna Marbles videos because they made us both laugh so hard. We would exchange stories of our bests and worsts, favorites and dislikes. We would go shopping together, have photography lessons, record videos, sing and make music.
Anything that will remind you of your time together, keep it, write it down, don't forget about it, take a photo of it, record it. Those little moments are very important and try really hard to make those memories last.
6. THE DISTANCE IS ONLY TEMPORARY
It helps to remember that the distance is only temporary. Make sure the positivity in your relationship is abundant. The struggles? They will end! The sleepless nights? They will end! The birthdays and Christmases and New Years spent apart? They will all end and one day, you will kiss DISTANCE's butt goodbye and you will live happily ever after! Trust me! Being positive about the whole distance situation is really helpful!
7. STRENGHTEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP'S FOUNDATION
I don't know about you, but Jorge and I's foundation is God. We wouldn't be where we are right now in each other's lives if God wasn't in the picture. We both understood that God was and is still is in the center of our relationship and that alone made us strong! We both understood what LOVE was and that helped us love each other in the way God wants us to love. So to strengthen that already strong foundation we had, we would both read our scripture of the day, send each other passages that stood out to us, talk about what we make of the passage and then we pray for each other. These all happened through text by the way. We believe that in order for us to grow more in love with each other, we must keep growing in love with God first. God is who held our relationship tight, and now, we're married. <3
I'm sure your relationship has a foundation. Constantly make an effort to keep that foundation strong. And I think, LOVE is the greatest form of foundation in any relationship.
To end this long blog post, I would like to leave you my favorite Bible verse, the best definition of love in my opinion. This is what helped me pick myself up from my past ugly relationships and has helped me become whole again. During the time I knew I was whole with God, He then gave me the best gift in the world, that is Jorge, my husband.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails."
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
If you want to read up on how our love story began, click here!
I hope you find this post helpful, especially if you're in a long distance relationship. If you've already overcome it like me, congrats and I wish you guys the best. If you're still in one nasty LDR, hang in there. Just do not stop loving each other. LOVE KNOWS NO DISTANCE! If I was able to conquer it, so can you!